Tuesday, January 14, 2003

Top Ten Reasons to Switch to Canada

Not wanting to be just a critic of the things I disagree with, I hereby as a public service post my own top ten reasons for switching to Canada. Mind you, these are not great reasons for leaving the USA for Canada, but they're a darned sight better than the reasons given by John Bender, who should feel free to take the following and replace his own list with it:

  1. Many important celebrities are Canadian: William Shatner, Paul Schaffer, and Jim Carrey to name a few.
  2. Canadians are safe from terrorists, who only come to Canada to enter the United States.
  3. In her latest video Up!, Shania Twain proudly displays the Canadian flag.
  4. The beautiful part of Niagara Falls is on the Canadian side.
  5. Canada has mooses, meeses, moosi--whatever is the plural of the species of which Bullwinkle is a member.
  6. If a Canadian gets a paper cut, his wonderful health care system gives him a free Band-Aid!
  7. Canadians pronounce "about" as "aboot" rather than "abowt." Much more civilized.
  8. The Royal Canadian Mounted Police wear those spiffy uniforms.
  9. Klondike Kat always gets his mouse.
  10. Canada gave the world Loverboy. 'Nuff said.

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