Random Thoughts on War and Peace

• Even if anti-war protesters think that the United States is a menace to world peace; even if they think that Bush is Hitler; even if they're worried about Iraqi citizens--why don't anti-war protesters also put their energy into opposing Saddam? Why don't millions take to the street in favor of a free Iraq, and demand that Saddam step down for the sake of Iraqi children^TM? Why not protest human rights violations by the Iraqi government against its own citizens? In other words, there are two ways to avoid war: one is for the U.S. not to go to war, the other is for Saddam to step down. If someone is opposed to war for humanitarian reasons, why not work to bring about either scenario?

• Of course, there is another way of avoiding the war: by ignoring U.N. Security Council Resolution 1441 and allowing Saddam and his ilk to do what they wish. But then anti-war activists need to explain why the United Nations should in any way be taken seriously. They can't have it both ways; if the U.N. is a moral-political authority in international affairs, then it has to have some teeth.

• Why is the anti-war movement so in favor of the status quo? It's amazing that so many anti-war groups see themselves as progressive and that so many critics of the Bush administration, especially celebrities, think of themselves as enlightened defenders of human rights, when in fact they want much of the world to remain the same as it always has been: governed by thugs, dictators, psychopaths, despots, warlords, anti-semites, genocidal loons, tribal chieftains, absolute monarchs, führers, and theocrats. One might object that the U.S. would have to go to war against much of the world in order to establish democracy--and even then, a lot of cultures may not want democracy. I agree with this, but my argument here (and above) is a non-fallacious ad hominem against those who oppose war on humanitarian grounds but end up only criticizing the U.S and never Saddam, the Taliban, the Soviet Union, and so on.

Even the Forces of Darkness are Astonished by Leftist Idiocy

Ernie has a budding career as a cartoonist:

The Upchuck Letters, Chapter 1 #121525 by Ernest_Brown  01-30-03

Mr. Scratch and his aide Judas Goat discuss the promotion of evil. Now, remember, you'll use your mind control powers to take over the "anti-war" left for Saddam. Ahh, I hate to tell you this, Chief, but they're already on his side! Edmund Burke, call your office. What? He's a racist, fascist, ecocidal, -genocidal- maniac. I couldn't create a composite of all the evils they claim to hate and do a more credible job of it! What can I say, Boss? Your campaign to destroy moral objectivity and basic decency has really taken them by storm. Now, there isn't even a pretense of progressivism. "Itching ears," you know. Talk about self-fulfilling judgment! Excuse me, I'm going to have to void some ectoplasm in a very unpleasant manner. Yep, it's hard to be a self-respecting demon while associating with these creeps. The Enemy is really dealing out the punishment to us on this one.

Ernie's Comics

"Why, yes, I'm an Idiotarian"

On the WB's Daily Buzz, actress Renee Zellweger mentioned that she is currently reading Michael Moore's Stupid White Men. After noting that she loves the book, she then admitted to being "completely uninformed and highly opinionated." Buzz host Andrea Jackson quipped that "completely uninformed and highly opinionated" is a good description of Hollywood. Kudos to the host, who is also the Buzz's entertainment reporter, for not being a sycophant. Kudos to the Buzz in general for not taking celebrities too seriously.

Poetry and War

Although anti-war poetry isn't necessarily bad--see for example Wilfred Owen's "Dulce Et Decorum Est"--a lot of contemporary anti-war poetry is an ugly hodgepodge of anti-American and anti-Jewish prejudice. So I was surprised to find that some poets are pro-war. I haven't had time to check out their poetry yet, but when I do, I'll blog about it.

Crikey, He's Good

At the risk of seeming obsequious, I want to second Ernie's recommendation of Markham Shaw Pyle. He's barely out of the gate and already in the same class as James Lileks and Bill Whittle.

MSP's back, and Clio's got him!

Yeah!, Markham Shaw Pyle has finally joined the ranks of bloggerdom!

Herodotean Laughter: Snickering Along With Clio

Get over the flu soon, Shaw!

Axis of Weasels drives Greece to support Turkey on NATO Article 4

Agence France-Press reports that Athens supports Ankara in NATO fracas

Greece has "protested on numerous occasions when NATO procedures were not launched even though (Greece) felt it was at risk of an attack", he said. Greece, therefore, cannot be "one of those who would block the procedure," Protopapas said.

M. Protopappas, you may note, has a fine sense of irony, since he's referring to Greece's troubles with Turkey over Cyprus, etc.

For France's response...

A Pirate is a Pirate is a Pirate

It's an unpopular view in cyberspace, but David Lawrence lays down the law:

Music and movie piracy, identity theft, credit card hacking, software cracking, and other activities are being promoted as "security assessment" and "the unavoidable new way of doing business" and other "helpful" acts. That's pure rationalization.

Yes, it is. It's amazing how many educated and otherwise ethical people justify piracy with lame arguments to get around the fact that sharing copyrighted material is illegal and immoral. There is no moral distinction between going into a store to shoplift a DVD, CD, or game and downloading a movie, album, or game from the Internet. This is not about free speech, nor is it a heroic struggle between the David music listener and the Goliath music industry; it's about stealing, plain and simple.

Hitchens's Long March Continues

Christopher Hitchens gives the French a well-justified flogging: The Rat that Roared

His evolution away from the left continues as idiotarianism deepens.

Shave and Get Horizontal, or Die

In what's sure to inspire a new advertising campaign for razor blades and shaving cream, scientists--and I'm using that term loosely for reasons that will shortly become clear--have made the following momentous discovery:

Men who don't shave every day enjoy less sex and are 70 percent more likely to suffer a stroke than daily shavers, a new study shows.

My first thought upon seeing this was "What the ...!?"

My second thought was "Crikey, I'm a dead man!" (Infer what you will.)

My third was again "What the ...!?"

My final thought is that the study is a textbook example of the non causa, pro causa fallacy, i.e., the fallacy of taking X to be the cause of Y when X is not likely to be the cause of Y. One would think that epidemiologists would be especially aware of the problem of confusing correlation and cause, but alas, this study made its way into the American Journal of Epidemiology. If you think the correlation between shaving, sex, and strokes is tenuous, hang on:

The findings show that men who don't shave every day are less likely to be married and are more likely to be blue-collar workers. They also have fewer orgasms, tend to be shorter, and to suffer from angina.

Researchers also note that these men live on planet Earth, wear pants, and require daily intake of H20 to survive.

[Professor Shah] Ebrahim told Reuters the link between circulating sex hormones and beard growth was first established when a man on a remote island in the Hebrides noticed that his beard grew vigorously when he was about to rejoin his girlfriend on the Scottish mainland.

One story about a hot-to-trot Gilligan establishes a link between hormones and beard growth? Isn't this frowned upon as anecdotal evidence? By the way, this has all kinds of implications for Gilligan's Island. Why? The men were always clean shaven. Discuss.

He said the low frequency of orgasm in men who did not shave regularly might be because they had low levels of testosterone or might simply reflect the fact that they were unmarried and had less opportunity for sex.

So now there's a correlation between not shaving and not being married? Does this professor just not like bearded men? And what about women who don't shave? What are their chances for amour with hairy 'pits and legs that a brillo pad would find abrasive? Discuss.

Dennis Miller gets in touch with his inner mensch

“The ACLU spent this entire holiday season protesting public displays of the nativity scene. Yeah, that's the problem with America right now: Public displays of Christ's birth, that's the problem. It's unbelievable to me. The ACLU will no longer fight for your right to put up a nativity scene, but they'll fight for the right of the local freak who wants to stumble onto the scene and have sex with one of the sheep.” (thanks to Gut Rumbles)

Some welcome anti-idiotarian commentary

Stars Fell on Texas

Guardian Unlimited | Special reports | Seven feared dead in space shuttle disaster

KADDISH

Yis'ga'dal v'yis'kadash sh'mey ra'bbo, b'olmo dee'vro hir'oosey v'yamlich malchoo'sey, b'chayeychon oov'yomeychon oov'chayey d'chol beis Yisroel, ba'agolo oo'viz'man koriv; v'imroo Omein.

Y'hey shmey rabbo m'vorach l'olam ool'olmey olmayo.

Yisborach v'yishtabach v'yispoar v'yisromam v'yisnasey, v'yis'hadar v'yis'aleh v'yis'halal, shmey d'koodsho, brich hoo, l'eylo min kol birchoso v'sheeroso, toosh'bechoso v'nechemoso, dee ameeron b'olmo; v'imroo Omein.

Y'hey shlomo rabbo min sh'mayo, v'chayim aleynoo ve'al kol Yisroel; v'imroo Omein.

Oseh sholom bimromov, hoo ya'aseh sholom oleynu, ve'al kol Yisroel; v'imroo Omein.

The Prayer Translated

May the great Name of God be exalted and sanctified, throughout the world, which He has created according to his will. May His Kingship be established in your lifetime and in your days, and in the lifetime of the entire household of Israel, swiftly and in the near future; and say, Amen.

May His great name be blessed, forever and ever. Blessed, praised, glorified, exalted, extolled, honoured, elevated and lauded be the Name of the Holy One, Blessed is He - above and beyond any blessings and hymns, praises and consolations which are uttered in the world; and say Amen. May there be abundant peace from heaven, and life, upon us and upon all Israel; and say, Amen.

He who makes peace in His high holy places, may He bring peace upon us, and upon all Israel; and say Amen.

A gentleman of residual taste, at least

You'd be surprised at who's losing patience with the loony left:

The Upchuck Letters, Chapter 1

Aim High, Shoot Low

Well, I’ve finally taken the plunge into comics-blogging, thanks to its twisted advocacy of LS at Amish Tech Support and others. Here begins my contribution:



This and the subsequent ‘toons are satirical commentaries on the “praxis” of the Situationist International (SI), a group of semi-Marxist theorists concentrated in France from 1958-72. They followed the “revisionism” of Georg Lukacs seminal tome HISTORY AND CLASS CONSCIOUSNESS, which posited that capitalism had an inherent capacity to re-invent and present itself that transcended its status in orthodox Marxist thought as a mere economic system. Since this came close to the revisionism of Bernstein, Lukacs had to spend the rest of his long life dodging and grovelling before the Stalinists. The Situationists had the luxury of being in Western Europe, and so were able to take pot-shots at the bureaucratic nature of “actually existing socialism“ in Russia and China.

In their analysis, the Situationists argued that capitalism had turned all relationships transactional, and that life had been reduced to a "spectacle". The spectacle is the key concept of their theory. In many ways, they merely reworked Marx's view of alienation, as developed in his early writings. The worker is alienated from his product and from his fellow workers and finds himself living in an alien world: The worker does not produce himself; he produces an independent power. The success of this production, its abundance, returns to the producer as an abundance of dispossession. All the time and space of his world becomes foreign to him with the accumulation of his alienated products....

The increasing division of labor and specialization have transformed work into meaningless drudgery. "It is useless," Vaneigem observes, "to expect even a caricature of creativity from a conveyor belt." What they added to Marx was the recognition that in order to ensure continued economic growth, capitalism has created "pseudo-needs" to increase consumption. Instead of saying that consciousness was determined at the point of production, they said it occurred at the point of consumption. Modern capitalist society is a consumer society, a society of "spectacular" commodity consumption. Having long been treated with the utmost contempt as a producer, the worker is now lavishly courted and seduced as a consumer.

At the same time, while modern technology has ended natural alienation (the struggle for survival against nature), social alienation in the form of a hierarchy of masters and slaves has continued. People are treated like passive objects, not active subjects. After degrading being into having, the society of the spectacle has further transformed having into merely appearing. The result is an appalling contrast between cultural poverty and economic wealth, between what is and what could be. "Who wants a world in which the guarantee that we shall not die of starvation," Vaneigem asks, "entails the risk of dying of boredom?"

In place of the society of the spectacle, the Situationists proposed a communistic society bereft of money, commodity production, wage labor, classes, private property and the State. Pseudo-needs would be replaced by real desires, and the economy of profit become one of pleasure. The division of labor and the antagonism between work and play would be overcome. It would be a society founded on the love of free play, characterized by the refusal to be led, to make sacrifices, and to perform roles. Above all, they insisted that every individual should actively and consciously participate in the reconstruction of every moment of life. They called themselves Situationists precisely because they believed that all individuals should construct the situations of their lives and release their own potential and obtain their own pleasure.

Guy Debord and the Situationists

Their practice of “detournment” or sabotage referred to in my strips is derived from the above position. There are two problems with it. First, the Nietzschian one of becoming the monster that you fight by adopting its methods and practices [which motivated Debord to withdraw all of his films from distribution, for example] and the more subtle one of parasitism. You can “pirate” TERRY AND THE PIRATES all you like, but -someone- still has to draw the dang thing. Why should Milt Caniff draw -anything- if it is not his to express, but can be taken up and used as an ideological “wax nose” with a majority vote by a collective?

Still and all, I can‘t say that they would approve of the stupidity going on now, given their opposition to Maoism in the 60‘s and Debord's subsequent prediction of the decay of the European left. Say what you will about the contradictions in their theory, they at least knew a fascist when they saw one.

To learn more about the SI, check out the following:

Here is a somewhat motley collection of information relating to the Situationist International.

Lexmark: It's All About the Ink

Those who believe that Lexmark offers printers at low prices and makes up the loss by selling expensive ink cartridges are right:

Printer maker Lexmark International Inc. on Thursday reported a higher fourth-quarter profit, powered by growth in sales of replacement ink cartridges for its inkjet and laser printers.

In 1999, I bought a Lexmark for $100 and got a $50 rebate. Excited about having an inkjet printer after years of using a noisy dot matrix, I did no research into the pricing of ink cartridges. I have no one to blame but myself, but Lexmark's bait-and-switch is still obnoxious for a number of reasons.

First, it is almost as cheap to buy a new Lexmark printer (one of the lower end models) as it is to buy a replacement cartridge for it. My model came with a cartridge, so for about $20 more than the price of a cartridge, I could have a new printer for each refill I've bought.

Second, Lexmark could cut out the rebates and price its cartridges lower. I would gladly have paid $100 for the printer for the sake of paying $20 for a refill.

Third, Lexmark does not offer reconditioned cartridges, whereas the other printer makers do.

Finally, the cartridges often cease to work for no discernable reason, even when the ink meter shows ink left.

I won't be buying a Lexmark again. From what I've read, certain Canon models have a low cost per page. Unfortunately, I suckered Ernie into buying the same Lexmark model.

Whither Hollywood?, or Salma doesn’t ‘Koootchie Koootchie Koo”

One of my political science professors had an unpleasant experience with our local school system. His wife volunteered to help at the school her children attended, only to meet a stonewalling response from the administration, despite the fact that she had at least two earned doctorates. The fact that she was Mexican probably had a little to do with it. They undoubtedly feared that she would traumatize the students by breaking out a flamenco guitar and singing "La Cucaracha." I was reminded about her in relation to the following:

"If Salma were white and male, she'd be bigger than Harvey Weinstein," says Alfred Molina, who played Diego Rivera to Hayek's Frida Kahlo in the Miramax-financed "Frida."

"Salma held her own against everybody," says Weinstein, pairing his star with Julie Taymor, who directed the movie. "I call them the Ballbreaker Twins. I should be the one getting sympathy, having to deal with women that strong. Between the two of them, I didn't know which way my ass was getting kicked."

The pitfalls of looking good

I’m sure that the magical question on everyone’s mind is, “Why -isn’t- she (bigger than ‘Harv,’ that is)?” What is there about making movies that requires a pasty complexion and the “right” secondary sex characteristics? Well, Ms. Hayek has the explanation:

"No one would hire me," (said Hayek in the interview). "I had studio heads say to me, 'You could have been the biggest star in America, but you were born in the wrong country. You can never be a leading lady, because we can't take the risk of you opening your mouth and people thinking of their maids.'"

Entertainment Tonight - Salma Strikes Back

Hmm, let me check out there...

All you moviegoers who employ Hispanic maids, raise your hands...

I thought so.

The hyper-protesting Hollyweird jerks that we’re hearing so much from lately are awfully silent about this. I guess that Viggo, Babs, Sheryl and Co. had to get their pro-fascist “Acid baths are too good for Saddam-hating scum” tee-shirts made up while this was going on. As for "artistes" that should have a stake in this issue, it seems that ‘President -Josiah Bartlett-’ is too busy “passing for WASP” to really concern himself with real-life racism and sexism in his own bloody industry. Martin knows which side his bread is buttered on.

Wait a mo, I just had a brainstorm. Hayek is 1/4 Lebanese, perhaps she’s just not putting her best minority claim forward. Strap a suicide bomb around her lissome waist and throw her an AK-47 and she’d probably be head of production for a major studio right now.

The sad thing is, that’s probably the -only- way she’ll ever be one, given the cowardice of the H-wood “left-behinds.”

Sad, really.

Whites Die More Often in War

Do blacks bear the brunt of war by dying disproportionately more than whites? Just the opposite according to this USA Today article:

Blacks, especially in the enlisted ranks, tend to be disproportionately drawn to non-combat fields such as unit administration and communications. They are underrepresented in jobs shooting rifles or dropping bombs.

Whites, on the other hand, go into higher risk jobs, and hence die disproportionately. What's interesting about this is that although it disarms the war-is-racist argument on one ground, it opens the argument up on another. The issue now is not how many blacks die in war, but how many serve as pilots, engineers, and so forth. Naturally, many will claim that this issue demonstrates racism in the armed forces, but the above article concludes:

The reasons for the racial divide are unclear, but several theories have emerged, including lingering racism in some quarters of the military and a tendency among black recruits to choose jobs that help them find work in the civilian sector.

The irony is that if one wants to claim that blacks should be better represented "in jobs shooting rifles or dropping bombs," then one is claiming that blacks should die in higher numbers. To be fair, this is not an absurd position; one could accept that consequence in the name of equality, but I suspect that the race lobby will want to play the issue both ways, i.e., that it is wrong that blacks die disproportionately and wrong that they do not serve in high-risk jobs. The two positions are not compatible, but one can always cite Walt Whitman in defense: "Do I contradict myself? Very well then, I contradict myself."

A Blog from Willy Wonka

Saturn in Retrograde is pleased to post the following open letter from none other than candy maker extraordinaire, Willy Wonka. The letter is addressed to certain public health officials in England.

---

My Dear Good Sirs,

I read in this morning's dispatch that many public health officials are concerned about the growing size of chocolate bars. These officials are rightly concerned with the increase in obesity and its corresponding effect on health. All well and good.

But then comes an accusation that I wouldn't even make against my worst enemy, Mr. Slugworth:

Nutritionists claim that some manufacturers deliberately lure children and low-income families into buying fatty, sugary and high-salt foods by heavily promoting cheaply priced, king-sized products.

My protege, Mr. Charlie Bucket, takes great offense at this. Having once been poor himself, Charlie found that being able to buy a larger candy bar at a reduced price was a boon, not a curse. Why? Because one does not need to eat the entire bar at one sitting. The Oompa Loompas have composed an entire opera on just this point. Moreover, such a bar can be shared with say, Grandpa Joe or Grandma Georgina.

I do hope that public health officials will not take issue with my Everlasting Gobstopper, which is designed for children with very little pocket money. Lest I be blamed for ruining the dental health of poor children, let me remind everyone that just because the Everlasting Gobstopper never gets any smaller is not reason to keep one in your mouth all of the time. The Oompa Loompa song about gum chewing drives this point home.

Equally puzzling is this passage:

Children were the least likely to understand the risks of buying king-sized chocolate bars or soft drinks.

I have some expertise regarding how children understand risk, so my response is: no kidding. Who should understand the risks?--

What do you get when your kid is a brat,
Spoiled and pampered like a Siamese cat?
Blaming the child is a lie and a shame,
You know exactly who's to blame--
The Mother and the Father.

As to obesity:

The same research showed that one king-sized chocolate bar would make up 30 per cent of a nine-year-old's daily fat intake--creating a "substantial problem" of over-eating for children.

Again, I have some expertise here. I once knew a lad who tried to drink my chocolate river and just might have had there not been some slight unpleasantness involving him, a pipe, and Bernoulli's Principle. My point? Obesity is a problem regarding the entirety of one's eating habits, not just the eating of a large candy bar. Augustus Gloop ate everything in sight, candy or not. And that was his downfall (or in this case, his upfall).

Finally:

Later this month, the Health minister Hazel Blears is expected to open another conference where experts will add to calls for tighter controls of food advertising, particularly targeting young people.

Stop. No. Don't.

Good Day Sirs,
Willy Wonka